I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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