You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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