There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
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Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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