have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
