And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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