i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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