Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.