You can't motorboat a personality
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
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he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
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Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.