Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack

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  (540): then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack http://tfl.nu/52qh
  Replies (14) Good night (1551) Bad night (3249)
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.

  (387): View more from

  I don't know what to judge you more for.

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  (234): No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods. (387): I don't know what to judge you more for. http://tfl.nu/wm5k
  Replies (18) Good night (4033) Bad night (1201)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I take back everything I said about communal showers

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  (865): I take back everything I said about communal showers http://tfl.nu/iybg
  Replies (5) Good night (3657) Bad night (991)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.

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  (260): It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs. http://tfl.nu/yz88
  Replies (14) Good night (1173) Bad night (4557)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.

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  (408): Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding. http://tfl.nu/o5ps
  Replies (7) Good night (2770) Bad night (822)
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  (707): View more from California

  At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.

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  (707): At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve. http://tfl.nu/oxx2
  Replies (3) Good night (3463) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"

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  (757): Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow" http://tfl.nu/vtnd
  Replies (8) Good night (2922) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.

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  (701): Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle. http://tfl.nu/xafh
  Replies (9) Good night (1295) Bad night (1951)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up

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  (217): Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up http://tfl.nu/7l2l
  Replies (4) Good night (1770) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."

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  (952): I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg." http://tfl.nu/4tux
  Replies (2) Good night (2981) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time

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  (203): Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time http://tfl.nu/nn7c
  Replies (1) Good night (698) Bad night (1031)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".

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  (951): He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later". http://tfl.nu/gid9
  Replies (12) Good night (924) Bad night (1381)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, they all thought you were gay.

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  (412): Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls (724): Dude, they all thought you were gay. http://tfl.nu/k7ip
  Replies (7) Good night (1201) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.

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  (920): He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week. http://tfl.nu/0wxx
  Replies (3) Good night (523) Bad night (240)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.

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  (623): Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime. http://tfl.nu/nfvc
  Replies (5) Good night (705) Bad night (219)

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