I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
splinters make it hard to masturbate
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.