Texts From Last Night

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  (419): View more from Ohio

  So i had sex for a couple seconds last night

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  (419): So i had sex for a couple seconds last night http://tfl.nu/eni0
  Replies (20) Good night (569) Bad night (2345)
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  (925): View more from California

  First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.

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  (925): First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so. http://tfl.nu/lvgi
  Replies (91) Good night (757) Bad night (9798)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.

  (360): View more from Washington

  im coming over.

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  (503): Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call. (360): im coming over. http://tfl.nu/x6qr
  Replies (8) Good night (3644) Bad night (526)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.

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  (780): we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said. http://tfl.nu/m7ps
  Replies (22) Good night (1154) Bad night (2656)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"

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  (973): My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items" (973): That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic" http://tfl.nu/yk9d
  Replies (13) Good night (4571) Bad night (1003)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.

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  (708): You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half. http://tfl.nu/enxi
  Replies (13) Good night (6464) Bad night (1189)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Hello wreck, this is your train calling.

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  (315): Hello wreck, this is your train calling. http://tfl.nu/qxsk
  Replies (13) Good night (5666) Bad night (1267)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.

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  (570): I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned. http://tfl.nu/iuhj
  Replies (20) Good night (1111) Bad night (3199)
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  (909): View more from California

  No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.

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  (909): No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets. http://tfl.nu/zkqt
  Replies (6) Good night (2041) Bad night (579)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.

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  (774): Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18. http://tfl.nu/z1g3
  Replies (14) Good night (3412) Bad night (680)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.

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  (407): You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window. http://tfl.nu/325b
  Replies (5) Good night (840) Bad night (389)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy

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  (443): I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy http://tfl.nu/5ksv
  Replies (5) Good night (363) Bad night (584)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.

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  (813): I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa. http://tfl.nu/wwaj
  Replies (8) Good night (838) Bad night (349)
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  (530): View more from California

  so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.

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  (530): so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong. http://tfl.nu/gz7f
  Replies (4) Good night (677) Bad night (271)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.

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  (781): Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student. http://tfl.nu/i7ug
  Replies (1) Good night (588) Bad night (225)

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