she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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