So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
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