just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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