I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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