Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
