Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
