Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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