honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My life is pants optional.
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