"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
