you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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