Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
