wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
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