I have demons in me.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
if only i could text you this smell
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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