I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
