Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
