Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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