Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
