Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
