Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
