Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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