The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
