You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
