I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I need a burrito and a hug.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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