I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
