Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
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I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
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i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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