yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
