Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
