I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
