its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
