So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
