My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
