woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize