i just had sex bonerless
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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