i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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