when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
