Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
