We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's rum buckets o'clock
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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