She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
