it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
