you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
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Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
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I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
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