Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
