Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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