Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
