and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
