Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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