I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
