Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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