Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I am midnight drunk by noon
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
