It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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