I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize