why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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