He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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