My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He better not be in your backpack
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
