Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
